2014 Holiday Season

santaSoon the holidays will be upon us.

Shit.

The time of year when we all put on our fake faces & pretend to like other people. When we drive a little crazier, cutting off all the other cars on the road so we can get somewhere else first. The time of year where you can watch other folks fighting over the last NFL themed rice cooker, so they can give it to a cousin they talk all kinds of shit about for the other 363 days in the year. Until the one day we’re stuck in the same house with uncle Joe, the fart king of the mid west. Or how about the over spending Americans have become accustomed to, where we like to go and charge the living shit out of our credit cards. Then spend the rest of the year paying it off, all the while pissing & whining about our debts and how broke we are because of someone else.

Shit.

thanksgiving_footballfoodThe only thing we can really look forward to is the football games on Thanksgiving, the overeating, the naps & arguing. What fun. At least the all the cooking can distract and take away from the bullshit family personality conflicts. Temporarily. Then there are the leftovers we love to fight about. MMM.

Shit

Halloween has been good to us these last couple of years. This has everything to do with the fact that we bought a house that is situated somewhat in the middle of nowhere. 26This keeps all the little bastards away from the gimme gimme, free candy, wake my dogs up so they can bark for half an hour, interrupt the scary monster movie fest that only comes around once a year anymore. God I’m getting old.

Shit.

It seems like the older I get, the more I just don’t want to celebrate these misunderstood, waste of time (and money we don’t really have) holidays. The true meanings of all three of these days have been forgotten. We have become self-absorbed, overindulging & just plain nasty to one another. No one truly does anything that doesn’t involve their own interests anymore.

I’m not bitter though. I have been just as guilty of this as anyone has (other than the fact that my wife & I have never participated in the failing credit system), the difference being that I am much better looking than you. DAMN I'M PRETTYSEE?

Shit.

 

 

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